babies were throwing up all over the place
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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