So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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