Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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