i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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