return my video game
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
