So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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