i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
