Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
