Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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