i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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