It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
