i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
