just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
