I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize