I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
false alarm. still invincible.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
