Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
