Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
