put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You've changed since you got that strap on
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize