return my video game
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
