I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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