goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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