You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
