You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
