That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
