so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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