i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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