the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
