Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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