I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
