Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
