She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am one with the molecules
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
