i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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