would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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