why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
