there was a trapeze. enough said
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
