My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
