Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
