Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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