Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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