How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
