erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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