I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
