That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
