So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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