I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
