So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My breasts were aching with rage.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
