evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
