mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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