I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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