we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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