I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
